I once did a real live newspaper article for a small town paper. I was so desperate for work I'd try anything. The editor was ecstatic; I was horrified. I'd made so many mistakes in the thing I realized after I saw it in print, the people I was writing about must have thought I was really stupid and insensitive. You know, the way it is when the story is wrong and you know the writer didn't even bother to check it out, or care, or was too dumb to know better. And how I managed to write such a good article was also very strange to me. I just imaged how the article would sound if somebody who knew what they were writing about would say, and I put that down. It was like I was doing imitation writing, no formula or anything because I can't do that, I had some kind of idea in my head about making it sound good and giving it some character, and I “faked” it. I pretended I was a reporter and that's what came out, from landing the job to taking the photos (I barely covered the cost of the negatives) to talking to various people at the site. Just play-acting.

And I realize, that's how I get through most situations. I just pretend that I've always been doing it and try not to let on that I haven't a clue. It's an actual cognitive style identified and classified as a way of thinking/behaving/learning in education and psychology disciplines, or wherever they do that. In my first marriage I emulated being a wife and mother and did a great job of it before I realized that I had totally given myself up for the role. I thought that's what we're supposed to do. That certainly explained the attempts at bread baking!