One of my dearest friends tried to come to the services we had for Greg but got lost and couldn't find it, went home and cried, her sorrows doubled. We missed her and I worried that something like that had happened but I was too busy to get back to looking into it. She called that night in so much pain. I had had an instinct that I should have done a better job of directions, or had someone go get her since she tends to have trouble driving when she's stressed.

The same here, I think, if I know someone close is having difficulty, I’d want to help get around those obstacles and enable them to participate more fully. I’m reminded of the movie "Hans Christian Anderson" when he got locked away while his ballet "Little Mermaid" was being performed. How he had to let go of the hurt and imagine the beauty of the performance as he caught strains of the music from the stage far away. I have so much trouble with those ironies.